Sexually frustrated ‘killer’ dolphins escape from navy…to find love

As you well know, Narked Scuba is here to bring you only the most pressing issues surrounding the SCUBA-verse in an informative and oh-so stylish format. So when this news report materialised i couldn’t hesitate one second to report this vital story.

We’ve already had stories of questionable dolphin activities on this blog so this news comes as no surprise to me.

Be wary of the next group of dolphins you come across as it has recently come to light that three military ‘killer’ dolphins, property of the Ukrainian Navy, have engineered a cunning break-out in order to seek a mate.

Member of the public are being urged to steer clear of any dolphins as the have been reportedly trained to ‘obliterate the enemy’ using knives and guns strapped to their heads.

dolphin-revenge

But ex-Soviet naval anti-sabotage officer Yury Plyachenko doesn’t believe the animals have any bad intentions in mind and added they are just looking for love.

‘If a male dolphin saw a female dolphin during the mating season, then he would immediately set off after her. But they came back in a week or so,’ he said.

The Ukrainian Minister has denied all allegations of the dolphins very existence let alone this embarrassing ordeal, now global news.

Incredible news is it not? Almost a little to surreal to believe? Well my friends that’s because it is 😉

Information about killer dolphins was reported initially by the Russian news agency RIA Novosti, which quoted what it said was a source from Russia’s Black Sea fleet base in Sevastopol and the locals confirm that the story is just an cheap hoax.

The story rears its battle-equipped head every couple of months. Wired magazine also pointed out that teaching the aquatic mammals to distinguish between friend and foe is very improbable: “Since dolphins cannot discern the difference between enemy and friendly vessels, or enemy and friendly divers and swimmers, it would not be wise to give that kind of decision authority to an animal,” the article quoted the United States Navy marine mammal program as stating.

So i will exit on the words of the brilliant Mark Twain,  “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

Dolphin General

 

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